Thursday, March 19, 2009
Posted by me:) at 10:55 PM
Am i taken for granted..
if not, why are so many people telling me so..
if not, why do i feel that they don't try their best because they know that i'll be there to tank everything
and yet they seem so unappreciative

Am i being too quiet..
such that they start to take advantage of it
just because i don't retaliate
just because i can't be bothered
just because i'm too tired to care

ever felt that you're invisible in this world
like you are so insignificant to the rest that you practically don't exist
cos that's what i'm feeling now

what to do when your personality just doesn't match theirs
when yall don't laugh at the same type of jokes
when yall to share any common topics
change and try to match them?
or just don't give a damn

i'm confused
they say 勉强不是幸福
so does that mean i should continue being myself and heck care about them
after all any form of "friendship" would be fake and artificial
and i won't be happy

why then, am i bothered about it.

i'm tired of putting up a strong front
and suffer alone inside.
yet the hurt will only be understated in words
who would understand then
the only one who can resolve this is me
but things will end up piling up
and i'm breaking

once again , the dam almost broke
fortunately it didn't
but ended up with increasing cracks
i don't think it can suffer another blow like this anymore
it's on its very last defense

the result would be disastrous
and irreversible
and it'll take a very long time to rebuild itself again

this is not emoing
it's pure sadness and disappointment
they are different
very different

this post is incoherent and messy
the state my mind and heart are in now

this girl here doesn't want to be like this either
she needs lots of plasters, leukoplasts, needles and threads.
she wants to be strong again
she wants to heal and be happy again