MAKING PEACE WITH AN EMPTY TOWN
|
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Posted by me:) at 12:43 AM
Alright it's been a long time since i've last posted an entry, partly because i'm either too busy rotting at the Singapore Indoor Stadium or i've nothing to post about except that i've been rotting. The only interesting thing would be i moved from rotting at SRJC to rotting at Singapore Indoor Stadium. I almost decomposed.>.<Right so what's so interesting about today that made me decide to post? First, it would be that today(29 Jun 2009) marks the last day of rotting for the whole day regardless of venues. Personally, i feel that the boredom experienced is worse than having to dance the whole. I do admit the stress from fear of commiting mistakes ( trust me, it's damn obvious if you do) can get to you at times, but as compared to sitting there, on the floor, stairs, stage, chair..etc, well i think a little stress won't hurt right? Nevertheless, it was pretty nice to see the effort put in by everyone, and their joy after the whole performance. Definitely, there are regrets that my ankle injury doesn't allow me to dance. but oh well.. Another reason that i'm still here, blogging would be the inspiration from a certain random someone. I happened to read his blog and am really inspired by the life that he leads. Let's just say he isn't exactly much older than me, he isn't as academically strong as the ones around me and yet, he leads such an interesting and meaningful life. Sure, he has to cope with his studies, projects but he's able to live his dream or maybe work towards his life goal concurrently. Reading his entries and profile made me question my life.I feel empty and worthless. All i'm doing everyday is surfing the net, reading random online materials, watching anime, reading manga, doing facebook quizzes, chatting on msn and maybe do some mugging in times of need..Well you may say that just do what you want, enjoy your youth, studies is the most important right now. But is this exactly what i want? I yearn to do something greater, to work towards my dream. And everything comes at a price. Am i capable of and willing to make such sacrifices? I'm not sure. I may not have such determination and courage. He was 14 when he started working towards his dream. I'm already 18. How many 18s will i have? One. Many times, i've comforted myself at the end of the day that i've no time to commit in other stuff. Now i can only give myself one word : bullshit. To think i've been living my 18 years of life like this. And this is why, i admire his attitude in life. His life is ever-happening. When i'm old, bald and toothless, i want to be able to look back and proudly say that i've lived my life meaningfully and well. |