I have no idea why i'm blogging so early. I just felt the need to. There are just so much feelings trapped in me that even i, have no clear idea what they are. I've been feeling very suffocated, sad, emo, happy...and the list goes on. It's a myriad of feelings and it's rather too overwhelming for me. I suppose there's every reason for each feeling i'm experiencing?

For one, i'm really glad i chose hwachong. I have not told many, but i was actually considering national jc at the end of secondary four, for both pae and jae. Why, people may ask. After all hwachong is still a better school in terms of ranking and the building ( no offence to students from njc). When all my closer friends are attending njc, i was really tempted to join them. I get to see them everyday, hell i even have a cca guaranteed for my next two years. Going to hwachong meant having to make friends all over again, having to face the risk of not having a decent cca. But on the bright side, it meant that i could start afresh with no expectations of me from people i know and i would get to know a even wider circle of people. So hwachong won me over=)

Sure sometimes, i do still miss my friends, especially my cca mates. I would be wondering what they might be doing across the road. However i'm very happy with my life right now. Honestly, i quite like my class. I think the people in my class are quite different from other classes, which sometimes is a good thing. Many in my class are jokers, which makes our lessons fun=P.

Before the start of the year, i had promised myself to be more sociable and extrovert. If people were to know me before secondary three, they would know how introvert i was. I think i was fortunate to be part of different social groups in school life for the past sixteen years of my life. Popular, outcast and just an average nobody in the school. ( No one would have guessed i was once an outcast.) I guess it's my experience that makes me who i am today and i'm very grateful to that.

In a way, i think i've changed a lot. Compare the current me to the me in the past. It's just like two completely different person. I think i'm more extrovert, more sociable and most importantly, happier. I like this change=)

I had mentioned in my previous post that i returned to my secondary school on teacher's day. My eyes were subconsciously searching for my hwachong classmates and then reality hit me time and time again. I wasn't in hwachong. This scared me a lot, am i really that attached to hwachong. Sure i've known for long that i really like this school, a lot more than my secondary school but i don't know that the magnitude was great to such an extent. And this links to why i'm quite down lately.

August has come and gone. September is around the corner. What does this mean? Our first year in hwachong is ending soon. Our next year is mostly mugging, mugging and mugging. Then all of us will go our separate ways. When will be the next time we'll meet again?:(

And i'm having weird feelings which i can't explain at all. WHY WHY WHY?! This brought me back to the time when kelly, val and shaoying told me that i should be glad that i don't experience stuff that they experienced. While i was there whining and complaining that my life lacks that kind of stuff and i can't wait to experience it. Lol though i doubt what i'm feeling now has anything got to do with that, (even if it is, there's nothing i can do about it).

After reading this, do you think you know me better? I doubt so because i don't either.






Everything is just a facade.

p.s: this is not an emo post but a reflective one=)